You’re a _____, not a _____!

Thought of the day (after seeing Thor) – “You’re a ____, not a ____.” Those lines work when they make sense. I have one in the opening page of my current project. It works in context.

“Jane, you’re an astrophysicist, not a storm chaser.”

The line fails. She’s a scientist, she has storm chasing equipment. Perhaps if it had been followed by “You should be in the lab not out her in the middle of nowhere” it would have succeeded. As it stands, it serves only to tell the audience our character’s name and profession. That blatancy took me out of the story.

Reworked line: “You’re an astrophysicist. You should be in the lab, not out chasing storms.”

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About Joseph Aland

Bestnonselling author and radio personality. View all posts by Joseph Aland

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